My DH and I have been TTC for almost a year now. All my friends tell me to relax and it'll happen. They tell stories of friends who got pregnant after they stopped trying. Is there any truth to the "relax and it'll happen" thing?
Nothing relaxes someone like telling them they HAVE to relax. Stress can delay or even prevent ovulation. So if you are so stressed out from TTC, it is possible that your stress is sabotaging your efforts. For most people, though, stress doesn't mean they can't ovulate...
Look at it this way, many people who have been ttc for more than a few months are stressed. Most of those people, though, do eventually get pregnant. I think you hear stories about people getting pregnant after they stop TTC because they are unusual. A couple who was freaking out because they were ttc for 8 months and didn't get pregnant, then decided to stop officially trying and gets pregnant in the 9th month is a fun story. That story will get told. No one tells the story about a couple who TTC for 8 months and were feeling stressed out and then got pregnant in the 9th month of trying. That's a boring story.
The reality is, you are more likely to get pregnant if you are trying. By trying, I mean that you need to time DTD properly and not just DTD randomly. But just because you are trying to time things correctly doesn't mean you need to be stressed out or obsessive. Many women love charting, but others find it stressful. If you find it stressful, toss out the chart. DTD based on OPKs or other fertility signs.
So, the short answer is this: As a strategy for getting pregnant, the "stop trying" strategy isn't too likely to yield results.
